Stuck on what to get your little ones this Christmas? Fear not – I’m here to help with my top 10 tried and tested Christmas gifts for toddlers (boys or girls) to suit all budgets.
1. A christmas tree.
Put it up on Christmas morning and pretend it’s just as precious as the other. Drop in the occasional “leave that alone” and “no” for extra ammunition. Sit back and let them tear the shit out of it for a full day. You can relax and eat your Christmas dinner whilst they set it alight or try and throw the dog into it.
2. Your favourite brew cup. ft. tea, coffee, whatever.
Have you ever noticed you child LOVES drinking from your cup? Give them YOUR cup. cheap as chips. simply wrap ,unwrap, fill with whatever you like, pretend to drink and then pass to them when they tantrum. You are WINNING at parenting this Christmas and they will love you so much.
3. Their whole advent calendar IN ONE DAY.
Because who else didn’t have a meltdown house this morning when you only offered them one? Plus if you buy it Christmas eve they are 5p. I know this because one year my grandma bought my brother 20 and wrapped them all up seperately.
4. A prosthetic leg
Complete with pyjama bottoms for all their bad mood needs. My kids seem to love tugging and clinging at mine all day so I figured I’d buy them their very own that they can even take to bed!
5. A dog bowl
Struggling getting your children to eat ? Buy them a dog bowl and simply place on the floor anywhere in the house filled with something made out of mince meat. Need I say more? (Put dog in utility room for this to work efficiently).
6. A box of calpol dispensers
Worried your children are sugary paracetamol addicts? Don’t worry – I think mine are too! Buy them their own calpol dispensers, provide a cup of ribena and let them get on with their day. *disclaimer* I am not being held responsible for them climbing the walls afterwards.
7. A trip to the toilet with you.
Don’t worry about taking them anywhere fancy. What they really want is a lovely jaunt to the toilet with you to see what all the fuss is about. Save your money and have a wee – everyone’s a winner!
8. A legit remote control.
Don’t bother with the fake ones – they know. Instead wrap the remote control up and just deal with the constant “brightness”, “subtitles” and accidental XXX HOT BABES channel being turned on. The dads won’t mind anyway.
9. A Purse
Just like Dipsy and his camp man bag. make sure to fill it with crap loyalty cards to provide extra amusement. *Another disclaimer* Explain properly that they must now fend for themselves and link the debit card to their savings accounts. If they’re old enough to shout NO when you tell them to go to bed then they’re old enough to manage their own finances.
10. A tub of celebrations
And you can share them for managing another year of parenting without going off your rocker.
You’re welcome !
Have a fab Christmas and NY and AN EXTRA SPECIAL THANKS for all the love on here this year 😘😘😘