So my first proper blog is going to be all about my twin pregnancy, focusing mainly on how much I hated it! I’m really not a negative person and the aim of my page is to be honest but fun. So I’ll try and make this as light hearted as I possibly can. (I’m still recovering emotionally haha).
My husband – Jordan and I got married in February 2015 on a lovely sunny day at the Palace Hotel in Manchester (now known as The Refuge). The following day we jetted off to New York for a week away…let the baby mithering begin! No that isn’t a typo, I mean mithering and not making. You see, Jordan didn’t want kids, but he said from the start he would have ONE, one with me one day as he understood how much I wanted to have them! It was a compromise (It’s not always rainbows and butterflies to quote Maroon 5).
3 days in and I realised I was flogging a dead horse.
I have a fantastic photo of me sat in the lobby of our gorgeous hotel, sulking because my mithering wasn’t quite going to plan…
So back to the UK we went to settle into married life.
Another month had gone by when I finally struck gold! Jordan stupidly agreed he would start trying for a baby in the summer as long as he was allowed to go to Amsterdam in the October (bless his naive cotton socks, I wouldn’t have stopped him anyway!). And that was that.
We got pregnant straight away – we were extremely lucky. I just want to point out to people reading this blog who may not be as fortunate that I REALLY DO know how lucky we were and I thank my lucky stars every day! Unfortunately the pregnancy didn’t last and I find it sad that we will never know what we were going to get…
Not one to dwell upon negatives we tried again straight away – and once again, first time lucky! having had a miscarriage, my lovely local hospital (BIG UP LEIGH INFIRMARY!) asked me to come in for an early scan to check everything out. It was the longest 2 week wait of my life. I was so nervous that we would go for a scan and there would be no heartbeat, so nervous that any minute I might start with the tummy cramps again, so nervous that I would literally come home from work and go straight to bed in the hopes that I’d wake up the following morning STILL PREGNANT. I do believe that unless you’ve been through the ordeal of losing a baby that you will never know how that actually feels.
So the day before the scan I caught a little white wish flower in my room – I’ll post a picture below because nobody ever knows what I’m talking about! I made a wish that everything would be ok the following day and blew it out my bedroom window. As I turned back around I noticed another on my bed, so I picked it up and wished again. “What if it’s twins?” I said to Jordan. Cue a nervous laugh from him! I’ll never forget his face the following day when the turned the screen around to show us 2 sacs. He literally went white and didn’t talk for the entire day. But it was still the BEST DAY EVER!
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT (not as in bad bowels, I mean it was just crap!). I was sick as a dog, worried, bloated, angry, crying a lot and oh remember you can’t drink – don’t even waste your money on Becks Blue or non-alcoholic wine! Oh and remember you can’t eat Brie, camembert or stilton. Oh and remember you can’t eat anything remotely nice that you would want to eat when you’re feeling sick – RIP pate on toast :-(. They should just stick pregnant women in a mental asylum attached to a drip for 40 weeks and be done with it. I rate this trimester a 4/10 – because its crap but you’re still pregnant right!
BETTER, much better – bar a sober Christmas and New Year (never again). We found out we were expecting boys, I felt them move, the sickness subsided, hell – I was just a happy pregnant lady going about my business as usual! Oh and once you start to show people are REALLLLLYYY nice to you! like opening doors and offering to carry bags etc. I’m considering just sticking my belly out on days I’ve eaten too many carbs and pretending to be preggo again, just so people are nice ***this is a lie, I don’t need to eat carbs to still look pregnant***! People also like to feed and water you if you’re pregnant. “here have some cake, the babies will be hungry”, “OK I’VE PUT 5 STONE ON ANYWAY!” came my reply. YOLO. I was even given a back massage by my lovely bezzies mum (cheers Jude!) People are just nice…and you feel quite nice because you’re not yet the size of a Rhino but you have boobs like Pamela. I rate this trimester a 10/10.
30 – 38 weeks
ACTUAL. LIVING. HELL
This is the part where I became emotionally ruined. This is the part where I found myself in hospital almost every sodding day with some embarrassing ailment or another ( I don’t even need to venture into the finer details, but most of the NHS staff at the Royal Bolton Hospital have seen my private parts – poor them). This is the part when I cried like an actual crazy person and put myself under house arrest most days. I had to pack in driving because my bump was so bloody ginormous that it touched the steering wheel and It’s not like I could even walk anywhere incase somebody rang ‘Greenpeace’. It’s not glamorous being heavily pregnant, you forget what your downstairs looks like and you find yourself getting excited thinking your waters have broke when in fact you’ve actually wet yourself (not me, but a friend…) My stretch marks are SO bad I doubt I’ll wear a bikini ever again. But luckily I’ve drafted up a legal agreement that Freddie and William have signed to say they will pay for all my plastic surgery when they turn 18. I’m hoping to look like Donatella Versace. You get beached in the bath like an actual Whale and while I like to think of myself as fairly trendy and imaginative, there’s only so much you can do with a pair of leggings and an XXL fruit of the loom polo.
I rate this trimester a minus 78 out of 10 and the only reason it is not minus 100000 is because you get to meet your little sleep steeling darlings at the end.
My motivation for writing this blog was due to finding duff information everywhere on twin (and single!) pregnancies all over the world wide web during those dark days! I felt so terrible for hating every minute and I felt like I was the only person in the world who was awake at 3am, crying because twin A wouldn’t stop booting me in the foof, when realistically it was the best thing ever that I’d managed to grow 2 healthy babies full term – how silly is that! It’s sites like netmums (amazing for a lot of things) that can make you feel like absolute garbage (or give you lols which ever way you look at it). But ‘Net Mum Warriors’ are the WORST!!!!! I think they’ve threatened to call social services on me approximately 89 times. Surely we should all be supporting each other throughout pregnancy and motherhood? No matter what the circumstances, no matter how we feel. Surely we should all be prepared for a crap time and not something off the cover of a pregnancy magazine. Christ – I looked more like Nigel Farage after a 3 day bender.
So that, my friends, is my pregnancy in a (fairly long) nutshell! I guess my conclusion is… Don’t get pregnant? Jokes. My conclusion is that although you may be surrounded by people who seemingly love their pregnancy that you DO NOT have to feel the same way. Some people sail through pregnancy, I was not one of them. It’s OK to dislike your pregnancy!
My next blog will be all about surviving the first 3 months with twins (or singletons!).
Join us on Instagram in the mean time – http://www.instagram.com/ruthannieparnell